Just tell me you love me
by Tokala
Summary: Entry for the Valentine's Day challenge on CCOAC. Pairing: JJ/Reid, Prompts: Kenny Rogers - Buy me a rose, heart shaped box of chocolates and a Hallmark card.


**Author's note: Ok, so here's my entry for the Valentine's Day challenge of CCOAC. I wrote it for nebula2. I'm so so sorry, it took so long. I had the plot for this story quite quickly, but then didn't know how to get from A to B...**

**It the first time I wrote a Reid/JJ story and I hope I did the pairing at least sort of justice, but I also wanted to try something new.**

**My usual add on: English isn't my first language, so I might sometimes get the wording/grammar/vocabulary wrong and/or mix British with American expressions...**

**Written for: nebula2**

**Pairing: Reid/JJ**

**Song and prompts: Kenny Rogers – Buy Me A Rose (thanks for introducing me to a beautiful song!), heart shaped box of chocolates, Hallmark card**

**Just tell me you love me**

It had started purely because of convenience. When it had turned out, that her husband had led a double throughout their relationship shortly before their wedding and she'd found herself facing the ruins that were her life, he'd been there for her and her son. Even though he didn't own an apartment, he'd at once suggested that she should move in with him. Even now, all those years later, she could recall his appearance as he'd made the proposal: shuffling, a tense expression his face, his eyes never leaving the ground, obviously mortified that she might reject his idea point-blank.

_Ohhh, he works hard to give her all he thinks she wants  
But it tears her apart, cause nothings for her heart  
He pulls in late to wake her up with a kiss good night  
If he could only read her mind, she'd say__:_

_Buy me a rose, call me from work  
Open a door for me, what would it hurt  
Show me you love me by the look in your eyes  
These are the little things I need the most in my life_

However, she hadn't. Although she nowadays sometimes asked herself what she'd been thinking of moving in with him right away, she knew, that she would do it again in a heartbeat. She thought that especially for him suddenly having someone else – plus a kid at that – in the house would be awkward, but he'd taken to new situation much faster than she had.

Maybe that was because he'd still harbored feelings for her. She'd known that he'd once had a crush on her. They'd even once been on a date, but back then a colleague had tried to set them up, meaning well of course, because his infatuation with her was more than obvious for their whole team. She didn't really know how to deal with the situation back then. The bureau's policy was strictly against any relationships at work and she could only imagine the field day their Section Chief would've had, if something like that had occurred in their team.

She hadn't considered having a serious relationship back then – she didn't have the time to go on dates anyway -, focusing solely on her career. But most of all she hadn't wanted to hurt him. He was the kindest, most endearing guy she'd ever met and she couldn't bear to see him hurt. In particular because she'd formed a special bond with him and she knew wasn't one to open up to people easily and really trust someone.

The date had turned out more than awkward with both trying so hard to come up with something to talk about. Fortunately they'd had their date at a football game, so whenever there appeared a lull in their conversation, she could keep it going by introducing him to her favourite pastime – something of which he obviously had no clue of. The sort of failed date had resulted in both of them backing away from each other for a while to sort out their feelings.

Not that there had been something to sort out for her back then in her opinion, she'd thought back then. Maybe she'd been wrong all along. This day she had to admit that it had somehow stung her, when he suddenly seemed to be intimate with an actress from L.A., who – in her opinion – only used him, calling him whenever it pleased her. Of course that actress had only needed to lift a finger and he was at her feet, kind soul that he was. Luckily that relationship, if one could even call it that, hadn't lasted long, but it had left him sort of broken-hearted and her to pick up the pieces.

By the time he'd found someone else, she'd been in a steady relationship with the guy, who she thought was her Mr. Right. She'd liked the barkeeper, who would grace his side in the coming months whenever they went out with the whole team, a lot better – even though she didn't like the fact, that said woman had only started to be interested in him after learning he was a brilliant agent, who came with some entertaining magic tricks as icing on the cake. Whenever she saw them laughing together, there was an odd feeling in her stomach. Back then, she'd put this down to the fact, that she considered him the baby of the team and that she now had to let him go as he was finally spreading his wings.

His relationship with that barkeeper lasted much longer than the first one, but when it came to an end, she had to admit maybe for the first time, that the nature of their friendship had changed. The weeks after he'd found himself single yet again were the hardest for her, as she couldn't bear to watch him walk around all gloomy and moping. To cheer him up and to show him what he meant to her, she'd made him godfather of her son after she'd given birth. She'd never ever forget his face that day. She didn't think it was possible that anyone could look happier than he did at that moment.

Soon after that, her own relationship had started crumbling, even though she and her boyfriend were heading towards a fairytale wedding. Her boyfriend had suddenly started to make even more frequent trips to New Orleans, where he hailed from. Whenever she'd inquired about the reason, he said that he'd had to organise things for their wedding. Today, she couldn't believe, that she'd been stupid enough to buy that, but she'd been oblivious to her boyfriend's cheating until a week before the wedding she suddenly found a letter in his study, from which she'd learned he'd deceived her the whole time, having an affair with an old acquaintance and even getting that other woman with child too.

She'd felt like she'd lost ground and for weeks she'd felt like she was on autopilot. He was the first that'd been able to tear down the walls again. He'd often turn up in her office, even though he didn't really have a reason to be there and stop for a chat, often bringing her a cup of coffee, prepared just the way she liked it. On one of these occasions, he'd suggested moving in together. And she, not really having any other way out or even someone else she could count on, had accepted.

_Now the days have grown to years of feeling all alone  
As she sits and wonders if all, she's doing wrong  
(Hey) Cause lately she'd try anything, just to turn his head  
(Oh) Would it make a difference if she said, if she said:_

_Buy me a rose, call me from work  
Open a door for me, what would it hurt  
Show me you love me by the look in your eyes  
These are the little things I need the most in my life_

It had been awkward at first. She had tried to keep out his at the beginning, telling her son not to bother him too much. However they'd slowly got used to their new situation and after a year she'd already liked to think of them as a little family and often found herself thinking that he cared for her son in a much more affectionate way than her ex-boyfriend ever had. When they spent evenings watching TV or plainly lounging in the living room, she often found herself watching him out of the corner of her eye as he pored over one of his many subject books.

It was in these moments that she often wished that their relationship would take a different path than the one of flatmates who just got along very well. She was by no means a shy wallflower. Numerous times she'd almost poured out her heart to him. When they would cook dinner as they usually did on Saturday night if they were at home, their hands often touching almost accidentally. When they laughed themselves to tears, watching their favourite comedy show. When they would take her son to the playground and he would send him flying through the air and their eyes would meet for longer than what was appropriate between good friends.

But she never did. She was too scared of losing their friendship, losing him and of damaging that little piece of homely bliss they shared. Furthermore she couldn't bear it to take her son away from him. Her son had taken to him much more than he ever had to his father. She was nearly moved to tears, when she'd actually heard her little one call him "daddy" instead of the usual "uncle" last Christmas.

She didn't even know if he felt the same way. Sure, sometimes she'd catch him staring at her, when she'd get all dressed up or if she was telling her son bedtime story. Sometimes their hands would even touch for longer than was strictly necessary. However he never made a move and thus she persuaded herself, that she must be imagining things. And even though her best friend noted, that she must be blissfully happy and that he would obviously anticipate her every wish, she longed for something more. That he would hold her in his arms. That he would whisper to her those three little words. But alas, it seemed that he wasn't the one to give this to her... _  
_

_(Oh) And the more that he lives the less that he tries  
To show her the love that he holds inside  
And the more that she gives the more that he sees  
This is a story of you and me_

_So I bought you a rose on the way home from work  
To open the door to a heart that I hurt  
And I hope you notice this look in my eyes  
Cause I'm gonna make things right  
For the rest of your life  
I'm gonna hold you tonight  
Do all those little things  
For the rest of your life_

The sound of the entry door opening and closing suddenly jolted her out of her daydreams. She smiled, glad that he was finally home safe, because the team had really had to deal with a gruelling case this past week, where every hint had seemed to lead them to a dead-end and where the unsub, a serial killer who had the blood of more than twelve people on his hands, had seemed to be playing cat and mouse with the team. Luckily he'd slipped up after his last murder and the team had been able to catch him. She'd gone home early today to cook dinner for her son, because even though the killings had taken place in Virginia, the team would've been busy with paper work until late at night.

"Hey, Spence. Dinner's still in the microwave. You just have to heat it up." She said, without looking up from the magazine she was reading. When she didn't get any greeting in return, she looked up.

"Spence?" She asked, because she had never seen him this insecure before. He was standing in the doorway, shuffling around, tightly gripping something he seemed to be holding. When he still didn't reply, she got up, now really concerned.

"Is everything all right?" She asked, softly. He didn't reply at first, but kept opening and closing his mouth as if he couldn't find the right words.

"Damn, I wish I were more like Morgan..." He finally blurted out.

"Eh?" She asked, his words not really making any sense to her.

"I..." He began, then stopped. "I..." Another try. Still nothing. "God!" He finally exclaimed, obviously angry at himself. "This is for you!" He at last managed a whole sentence and trust the things he was holding towards her.

Her heart stopped.

A heart shaped box of chocolates.

With trembling hands, she opened the little white envelope. A Hallmark card with a teddy bear holding a red rose dropped out.

_It couldn't be... He wasn't really_...

She opened the card and read aloud.

"_Sometimes your nearness takes my breath away; and all the things I want to say can find no voice. Then, in silence, I can only hope my eyes will speak my heart."_

She swallowed deeply, her eyes brimming with tears.

"Oh, Spence..." She whispered with a shaky voice. "I..." She tried to say something but he cut her off.

"JJ, I ... I'm not ...god nor very experienced at doing this. I ... I love you. I know you .. you may not reciprocate my feelings, but...I'd like to be there for you. I had to ... had to say something. If you don't feel the same way, that's okay. I will never talk about this again, but..." He stopped as she put a finger to his lips.

"Oh, Spence...but I do. I... I love you, all those years...I wished I had understood it sooner, but I was too afraid of losing you." She watched as his expression changed from one of anxiousness to one of pure bliss. He shyly grabbed her hand and pulled her towards him.

"I know that given the dangers of our job, there may be a time when we can't be together. I hope you keep me in your heart, I'll stay there forever." He whispered, before his lips finally touched hers.

_~ The End ~_


End file.
